Yeah,  here’re two other incidents that also had to do with golf carts. This was back in 2013.

It had been raining for much of the rally. Put another way, there was mud everywhere. Fortunately, my tent was well sealed up, I had bottles of water, I had munchies, I was within easy walking distance of the Wolfman Jack Concert Stage, and my tent was directly across from a port-a-potty. I mean, wow!, it was like I was staying in the penthouse suite at that miles-high hotel in Dubai. (Okay, maybe not that extreme, but still….)

Anyway, it was late one night when I was walking back to my tent (my home) from a concert. (Rob Zombie? Kid Rock? Can’t remember.) Tip-toeing through the mud, I looked behind me and, whaddya know!, I saw two, young and pretty twenty-something girls in a golf cart driving through the mud.

Well, two, young and pretty twenty-something girls in a golf cart driving through the mud is always a welcoming sight, so I stepped aside to let them pass but they stopped right next to me. The driver looked at me in an innocent hopeful way then asked in a quivering voice, “Are you Lionel Ritchie?”

I thought, “Wow! In my entire life, I have never been asked that question!” Now, not having seen a photo of Mr. Ritchie for years, I thought that, who knows?, maybe there is a resemblance. I looked at that innocent and hopeful face and said, “Well, I don’t think so.” Then, not wanting to disappoint, quickly added, “But hey, you never know!”

Not a minute later, another pair of young and pretty twenty-something girls in a golf cart driving through the mud drove up. They each wore a pair of those X-ray glasses that have eyeballs connected to springs.

They, too, stopped next to me. The passenger stood up, looked me over with those X-ray eyeballs bouncing up and down and said, “I can see your penis.” (I’m not cleaning up any vulgarity here, she actually used the word penis.)

My first thought was that, you know, maybe I forgot to do something after I went to the bathroom, so I took a look, but I was all zipped up nice and proper. I looked back at that young and pretty twenty-something girl and said, “Well, whaddya know!”

Tell ya what: The X-ray glasses they make these days work a heck of a lot better than the ones I had when I was entering puberty.